...for class that is.
Last two years have been about finishing my BA...but something else happened in the course of those two years. I had a growth spurt. A mental and emotional growth spurt. Now as I near the finish line, the introduction I so carefully handcrafted for the beginning of each class changes once more. In fact, each time I wrote my class introduction I probably adjusted a sentence here and there, but those changes were not for vanity's sake. I figured that if I was going to watch a natural progression of my personal development, these seemingly insignificant introductions would track my progress. It's not like I have all the old ones archives somewhere - because I don't. I just remember how I felt when i wrote each one and know that I felt I needed to make changed each time I had a growth spurt. I know I was a bit more shy when I started, but I later cut the fat and ended up with the core of my being:
I'm a wife, mother, daughter, animal lover, gardener, baseball fan, musician, foodie (I love to cook), and amateur photographer. I have 5 cats and a strange penchant for the weather.
Then I garnered the strength to share my artisitc side:
Here's a link to some of my photos:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/stellastarlight/art
And then, I spewed:
I started college back in 1994. My first love and major was music. I studied jazz voice until I realized that did not want to teach music, which is what the music program primarily focused on. Back then I was convinced that a college degree was only supposed to be practical. A degree in music just didn’t seem practical enough for me to spend 4 years studying for the purpose of gigging. This led me to change my major to Psychology - a degree I felt I could "fall back on". I made the mistake of giving up my passion for practicality, and in the end it got me nowhere. I threw myself into the workforce, earned enough credits to complete my AA, and basically quit school for an extended period of time. I seriously thought that was it for me as far as school was concerned.
Well that was blah - but true. True because....well....these things actually happened, and true because it was a rather blah point in my life. Here's the worst part - I did it to myself. I MADE it blah. I was a 20 year old who had forgotten how to have fun. Isn't that just awful? Here's the part that sucks, but then starts to recover at the end of the paragraph:
I continued working in a directionless workforce to make money to support a family. I never looked at work as something I could enjoy or be passionate about. Work was merely necessity in order to make an honest living. However, I've always possessed strong work ethic. I enjoyed working towards a goal either on my own or as part of a team, but I was never passionate about the work I did. As a result, my frustration with a directionless future and the unnecessary, monumental amounts of stress in the workplace made me decide to go back to school to finish what I started. Since the environment has always been a genuine interest and concern of mine, and since I’m a nuts and bolts kind of gal, I came to the conclusion that pursuing my BA in something as well rounded as Environmental Studies was right for me.
Yes! Finally! A turn around! It took me a while to see why I had done what I done. I started school again with a gut feeling. I knew I would have to commit to this for at least two years, and with everything else I had going on I wasn't sure of I could hack it, but I took the plunge anyway. Now here's where life takes an unexpected turn:
Interestingly enough, just after I started my online BA at Ashford last year the most wonderful thing happened - I was laid off. I had never lost a job before. I became a statistic during an economic decline. Although I was initially saddened by the event, I realized that getting laid off was the best thing that ever happened to me. I find that I am busier now more than ever these days, and yet I have way more flexibility than ever before. While I keep the accounting aspect of my husband's company in check, I balance family matters that include my 12 year old son, elderly mother, and elderly father in law, as well as managing a household while still finding the time to concentrate on my BA. In other words, this layoff turned 100% of my attention to all of the things that are important to me and that will stay with me for the rest of my life. There is no job in my 18 years in the workforce that has ever taken precedence over these important aspects. I am truly happy that my life currently revolves around these areas of importance and self-development.
Funny how things work out?
Holy CRAP! It's like I finally woke up. Now it hasn't been a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination. Being unemployed is stressful, caring for aging parents is difficult, being a mom always has its challenges, and keeping a marriage together through tough financial times is never easy - but the school thing? Grueling, but a-okay. In fact, it's the one thing that has kept me sane all this time. This constant feeding of the brain really keeps you motivated and alive - and I am grateful for that. So whenever you're feeling like you're going to lose it, feed your brain. Starving your body of food and water can make you delirious. What makes you think starving your brain won't?
Thank you for reading my bio.
